Do I get bitches? Idk, do I own a cat shaped charcuterie board with mouse cheese knife?
post CANCELLED everyone GET OUT
IM BEING CRUCIFIED LIKE CHRIST
you know what? fuck you *untandems your maus*
you block ‘liberally’ you say? Well I block marxistly. Just one of the many ways in which I’m better than you
playing upsie daisies with my infant son but on his fall down i parry him flawlessly sending him rocketing into the sky
Everyone trying to fandom on this post can waltz their ass home bc this is the only motherfucker that gets it
uhhh your honour please let the record show that the defendant won't stop making jerk off gestures every time i get up to talk. well no he is because i can hear his handcuffs jingling when he does it. your honour can you get him to stop please
your honour let the record show that i'm not being a little bitch about it. no i'm not. no i'm not. no i'm not no i'm not no i'm not
Everyone says who you first marry in skyrim says a lot about you but i married that homeless guy in windhelm the Once Honored guy w the bald ass head bcs I read that unless u do he dies in the civil war and so i married him thinking i could divorce him on friendly terms and help him get back on his feet but you cant get divorced i learned too late and he keeps asking my DB for a gold coin every day despite living in her house and yelled at meeko and then i met serana and fell in love thinking i could marry her if I got old baldy out of the picture bcs he never even changed out of his raggedy ass robes anyway so lure him into the small room in lakeview manor and close the doors so the kids dont see and one hit mercy kill him but the kids hear anyway and start screaming and the bard hears too and attacks me and I have to kill the bard and the kids are still screaming. but every time i come back the bodies wont despawn so theres just my dead homeless husband and bard in the house making the kids cower in the corner so i cast reanimate and try to walk my husband outside but that just makes things worse bcs hes making those zombie moans and as SOON as i load outside the door he turns into a giant ass zombie ash pile and goes “thank….. you….” so the rest of the game I just had my dead bald husbands goo ashes right on the front steps of my home and Seranas not even marriable
it says the actual flavour right here :/
gonna dump 2 litres of this stuff into my humidifier and see what happens
Hospital
Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken
once tried desperately to make my friend understand that yolks were not, like, a liquified potentiality of chicken, and she looked at me for a while and then said, "but they’re both yellow."
Behold
A chicken
[image: a lemon.]
Image descriptions that incidentally make the joke infinitely funnier.
since a new pokemon game and starters were announced where is that picture from when bw was announced and people tried to guess what oshawott’s shadow looked like and they just drew some green duck with with a giant acorn, it’s tradition to always bring that back
Nice t on christ, shows the authenticity
I like how Jesus dots his i with a flower like an 8 year old girl